Rainbow Mom

First off – sorry it’s been so long. But – I’m pregnant and the first three months were rough! So I’m trying to get back into the swing of things, writing on here and also working on my story(ies).

A few weeks ago, Nicky started to talk about getting a “rainbow mom” and I didn’t know what this meant but since he was talking about getting rid of me in exchange for another mom my reaction was usually, “yeah, go ahead then.” …see if I care…(kinda do).  I guess I get it, I was throwing up just about every day and laying around the house and just not doing much. So he would get upset and say he wanted a new mom. But it was only a few weeks ago that the “rainbow mom” debuted.

Then the other day he mentions her again and as usual, I don’t really think much of it–I mean, it’s unique for sure, my kid is quirky so we get things like this a lot. But he kept talking and then he started to talk about a picture book with a picture of “rainbow mom”. So I started flipping through children’s books in my mind but had nothing. Then he says something about it being next to the one with the large rubber ducky and it clicked.

Many moons and another lifetime ago, I had done my first color and my sister had taken a picture on the way to breakfast of how colorful I was (and mostly because we were worried they wouldn’t let me come inside and eat). That evening, I went to the movies with my boys and outside the theater there was a giant duck so I took a picture. Both pictures were posted to Instagram and therefore, both showed up in my very first Chatbook.

It was nice to finally have a mystery solved (we’re still trying to figure out what he means when he says, “I’ve got a half back!” or “I’ve got a hat back!”

Then Nicky asks if I could be a “rainbow mom” again.

I asked, “you want me to be the kind of person I was before I was a mom?”

“Yes,” he said.

I guess I was pretty awesome back then and it wouldn’t be so bad to be awesome again – even if I’ve developed a “mom voice” and bring down the heavy hand of the law from time to time.

Partying for Partying’s Sake

Nicky has been wanting to have a party since this past summer when he read the book “Monster Party”. When I’m in the office he comes in and starts drawing on paper saying he’s making invitations.

Finally, a few days after Christmas he mentioned a party and I thought, “why not?” We have ready made party guests in the form of a bazillion cousins so not a lot of work has to go into preparation and they don’t need a lot of notice. So I decided to invite my sisters and their kids over for a pizza party.

I just made a ton of pizza dough and kept churning them out (kids can eat A LOT of pizza).

The only real work was the cake, and I took that on because I wanted to, not because I felt I needed to. I want to practice making fun cakes. After Christmas and this party I’m going on a sugar fast….starting Monday. J

Things I never thought I’d say -Part 2

Since the year is almost over I figured I would go ahead and publish this post I’ve been randomly adding things to. I’ll be honest, I forgot this list most of the year so it’s a little shorter than the real life things that have come out of my mouth since becoming a mom. But here is the list of things I remembered to write down.

  • I’m so sorry my child’s poo got on you.
  • I really just want to be able to stay in Sunday school the whole time.
  • You cannot squish people with the door.
  • Deodorant’s not for eating
  • Here, you can play with the gun. (Toy gun)
  • Don’t blow your nose on my pants.
  • You can’t knock on the baby’s head!
  • Get that out of your butt crack!
  • I can’t wait until we get a minivan
  • You can’t take other people’s moms, we’ve talked about this
  • You can’t drag your sister!
  • Don’t kiss the cat’s butt
  • Just use your shirt to wipe it
  • Don’t lick the floor

It’s Official – I’m a Pageant Mom

So update on the pageant: Nicky participated! It may have helped that I said there would be a cookie feast for everyone who sings. It could also be because, even though he doesn’t sing, he’s had preparation and is fine to stand there.

He was the cutest little sheep. And I liked that he didn’t sing, made it humorous and entertaining. After the pageant they had the reception which was basically a cookie feast as I described. I even gave Nicky some punch but he said it was “too hot”. I took a sip, I think it was the bubbliness of the soda. Which I get – it’s why I don’t drink soda. They had Santa there and Nicky even sat on his lap and didn’t cry! In fact, as he was being helped on to Santa’s lap he already started to tell him what he wanted for Christmas (a puzzle like mommy’s). All-in-all it was a very good day.

Gray’s Anatomy

After reading some parenting articles that popped into my inbox via BabyCenter and WhatToExpect, I decided to use the proper words for body parts rather than cutesy nicknames that will save me from some embarrassment.

So when Nicky points at his particulars and asks me what it is I tell him it’s his penis (I feel dirty just writing it). He repeats the word after me like he’s been doing with new words for a while now.

I live in constant fear of him yelling it out in the middle of church.

It’s been over a week since the last time he asked. So this morning as I’m getting Nicky dressed he points at my waist and says, “mommy’s penis” I explain that only boys have them (so I’d appreciate he not tell people I have one).” Then, because this kid really knows how to hurt me he says, “mommy’s mustache.”

….

So I tell him that when a woman has a mustache we don’t say anything about it.

I don’t have one btw.

After getting dressed he wants to play with play dough. I pull out all the green play dough and start to roll it into a cylinder which yesterday, he was calling “capeeshes”. So I thought I was making a big capeesh for him and he yells out, “a big penis!”

Capeeshes

And now he’s asking me to make the play dough into a big penis.

When did my life get so inappropriate?

Homemade Play Dough

This stuff is so easy to make!

Throw the following ingredients into a saucepan:

  • 1 Cup flour
  • 2 tsp cream of tartar
  • 1/3 CUP salt
  • 1 Cup water
  • 1 tbsp oil

Stir over medium heat until it gets thicker. Then add whichever food coloring you want. Continue stirring until the play dough pulls away from the pan. Set on wax paper to cool.

The whole process takes less than ten minutes.

I have to say, it’s pretty fun to play with it while it’s still warm.

I originally made some two years ago in my overzealousness to make things for Nicky. It took a little longer before he was really interested, point being though, that play dough is still going strong. The only reason I made more was because he’s mixed together the colors and even some brand name play dough his aunt gave him. It’s U-G-L-Y.

This is why we can’t have nice things

I love peanut butter.

I just wanted to say that before I went off on it.

I always find it on my pants. Sometimes my shirts, but usually my pants. It’s become an accessory several times a week. I don’t own that many pairs of jeans, mostly because I’m losing weight so I don’t want to stock up on pants that won’t fit me for long.

Sometimes I know the peanut butter is there because toddler man mouths my leg after eating some. Sometimes I find it later, I look down and there it is, about the height of the kitchen table because someone decided peanut butter makes excellent paint (and it kind of does).

It’s kind of gotten to the point where I’m not so careful when I eat anymore. The food on the kitchen floor doesn’t always come from the toddler in the room, why should it? I have to clean it up no matter who makes the mess and there’s always going to be something to clean up…so why try so hard?

Toddlers may be messy – but they sure are fun. So for now I’ll deal with the peanut butter and all the other little messes and I’ll try to be more put together and clean when I’m older.